If we were standing face to face and I was to ask you how your week had been what would your answer be? If I had to guess I would assume your answer would be summed up in one word, BUSY. I have noticed that anytime someone asks me about my day or week that is my go-to, autopilot answer. I have also noticed that if I ask someone the same question that is usually the answer I get as well. And to be fair, it is the truth. We are all busy. We all have things that we need to accomplish and that are very important to us. There are errands to run, jobs to do, bills to pay, cleaning to do, playdates, events, practices, ministries, repairs, and so much more. As I am writing this I looked over to the shelf beside me where I have put my notebook with my to-do list. There it is glaring at me reminding me of all the things that I have written down that I want to accomplish. We are busy people.
However in our busy state sometimes we tend to put very important things on the back burner of life. Things fall through the cracks and get forgotten because, well, we are busy. It is not that we mean for it to happen in most cases, it just does because of the hustle that we are in. Unfortunately, our spouses and our marriages are typically one of the first things that get put on the back burner in our conquest to accomplish all that we are trying to accomplish.
So let’s take some time to really look at our schedules. Let’s see what the Bible says about our priorities, and talk about ways to allow margin in our lives so we can operate the way the Lord intended us to operate.
First Things First
So what should be first and foremost in our lives? What should be # 1? We find the answer to that question in Deuteronomy 6:5.
And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
So our first priority is to God. We need to allow margin in our DAILY schedule for Him. I have talked about this one point a lot in our blogs but it is so important. If we do not have a strong foundation then everything else will eventually collapse. We can only have that strong foundation by inviting God into our daily lives.
If you are too busy to spend some time with God each day than you are too busy!
Now be encouraged: it does not have to be hours a day, and you do not need a war room to spend time with God. Just spend time with Him! If you have a war room, great, but the Lord loves early mornings and iced coffee, He enjoys morning commutes to work, I’m sure He would love to have lunch with you each day, or maybe a few quiet moments together as you unwind from the day. Find what works for you then work it!
The next thing that should take precedence in your life actually might shock you? Most people think that after God, mission (ministry) should be the next most important thing. However, that is not what the Bible tells us.
In Ephesians chapter 5 it tells us what our next priority should be.
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
Marriage is a model of Christ’s love for the church. The most important thing Jesus did was glorify the Father and spend time with Him, however, the second most important thing to Jesus was the Church, which is us. So if we are to model this that means if you are married your spouse should come second only to God.
So this means that we should allow margin in our schedules for our spouses. We need to spend time with them, care for them, put them above other people and things on our to-do list.
Our spouses should come second only to God. What good is it to accomplish all the things, and mark everything off your to-do list if you lose your spouse in the process.
How do we make sure that we do not neglect our spouses?
Two Words! BE INTENTIONAL!
If you and your spouse have heavy schedules pencil time into your calendars and make it non-negotiable. Making it non-negotiable means that regardless of what comes up or how much you have to do, you will honor the time set aside for each other. This includes children as well. You and your spouse need alone time so pay the money to get a babysitter. If your children are old enough to stay alone that’s great too. The point is to give your spouse your undivided time and attention. By doing this you are letting them know that they are important to you! You are reminding yourself and them that they are the most important thing to you under God.
After we have gotten these two most important things into the correct position in our lives then it is time to work on the next thing. Mission. We find our call for this in several places in the Bible. After God and the church, Jesus also encouraged people to be apart of His Kingdom work.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 says~
Therefore encourage (admonish, exhort) one another and edify (strengthen and build up) one another, just as you are doing.
Matthew 28:19 says~
Go then and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them [a]into the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit
There are so many ways that we can run on mission, it could be: volunteering at your church, leading a small group, witnessing to a stranger, mentoring another couple, etc. The way you chose to run on mission can be completely unique but we have all be called to mission. If you are a Christian Jesus wants to include you in His plan to bring the world to Himself. What an honor that we get to be a part of the rescue mission.
Now with that being said- that does not mean that you have to be a part of EVERY mission. This is where so many Christians get caught up and because of it, their relationships are suffering. We forget the order that we are supposed to do things and we also forget that everything is not ours to do. Has the Lord called you to mission, YES, but not to all of them and not at the expense of your time with Him and your spouse. It is ok to say no to some things so you can accomplish the important things.
So to Sum Up!
Look at your life. Do you have things in the correct order?
If not, it’s time for a change. Remember if you are too busy for God and your spouse then you are too busy!
Is there something you can take off your plate the Lord never asked you to do?
“No” is a Holy Word
You are called to run on mission but not EVERY mission
At the end of the day, you will never regret the time spent with the Lord, with your spouse, or fulfilling the call on your life. But when we get things out of order or take on too much the most important things are the things that start to crumble. Don’t let that happen. Be intentional! Allow for margin in your marriage!
You Can Do this!
We are praying for you!