Have you ever taken an English class?
I am sure if you are able to read this then the answer is yes. If you are like me you have probably taken multiple English classes through your life. Regardless of the number of English classes, you have taken I am sure at some point you have seen the 5 w’s. Maybe they were never referred to as the 5 w’s but you have definitely run across these five words in class. The 5 w’s are- who, what, when, where, and why. In English class, we use the 5 w’s for information gathering and problem-solving. When it came to doing an exercise or paper in your class, by asking yourself these five questions, you could find the information you needed to solve whatever the problem was or write the paper.
As I was praying and thinking about what this blog should be about the word “why” popped into my brain. I went to Alex and told him that I thought we should do the blog and video about the word, why. I explain to him that I knew it was just one word but that I could not shake the fact that it was important and maybe we should talk about the “whys” in marriage. That was literally all I had to say about it when I went to him. He took that one word and that one thought I had, thought about it for a few moments, and then said let’s do that but add a few other questions too, like what and where and when. At that moment, we both thought about an English class so we googled it. We looked at the five w’s that we learn about in English class and decided to do a spin on it- the 5 w’s of marriage.
So tonight’s blog is more of an assignment than anything. As I thought about the 5 w’s and how I have used them in school it became very clear that if we will ask ourselves these five questions it can help us in marriage also. If these five words will help us gather information and solve problems in school why can’t they do the same thing in other areas of our lives as well?
Below I have listed several questions per word that you can sit down with your spouse and discuss. Use these questions as a starting point you can focus on all of them or one of them or you can add some of your own. Do whatever will be most beneficial for your relationship. In the very first blog and video, we did we talked about having a road map for our marriage. You can use these questions to get you back on course if you have gotten lost or to keep you focused and continuing on the right path. These questions can help to solve problems in your relationship or to help you accomplish certain goals you may have as a couple.
Below you are only going to find questions, I am not going to answer them because the answers that are right for Alex and I may not be the correct answers for your marriage. Every marriage is different so I do not for a second want you to think that yours has to look like ours or anyone else’s. The main thing here is to sit down with your spouse. The two of you have to be on the same page if you are going to make progress in your relationship. So let’s get started with our assignment, shall we?
Let’s answer the following questions! Keep your eyes on your own paper! You may begin!
What is something I love about my spouse?
What is something that we do well as a couple?
What is something that needs improvement in our marriage?
What goals do we need to set as a couple?
When is a good time to invest in my marriage?
When is a good time to be quiet?
When is a good time to speak up?
When should I seek counseling for my marriage?
Where are we in our relationship right now?
Where do we see our marriage in 5, 10, or 20 years?
Where should we start to make changes?
Where can I make my marriage a priority?
Why do I react to things a certain way in my relationship?
Why do I feel like my relationship should look a certain way?
Why do certain arguments happen?
Why is my spouse special to me?
Who is someone that is watching your marriage?
Who is someone you can mentor in marriage?
Who needs to compromise or apologize?
Who do I need to remove from my life to make my relationship better with my spouse?
Press through the Awkward
These are just a few questions to get you started. My prayer is that you sit down with your spouse and go through these questions and any others that will help to further your relationship and draw you closer together. These questions may be awkward and not easy to talk about but it will be worth it in the long run if you can fix areas in your marriage that need some resolution! You are worth it, your spouse is worth it, your marriage is worth it.
You can do this! We are praying for you!