Hello Friends,

We are two weeks away from the start of the new year!! 2019 is right around the corner and I for one cannot wait. 2018 had its wonderful moments like starting this ministry and traveling all over the United States, but this year also brought with it a pain that Alex and I had never experienced before with the loss of loved ones. Through it all God was good and faithful and I feel like Alex and I are emerging from this year changed but better than we were a year ago.

I am looking forward to this new year because I am ready for a change. I am ready for a breath of fresh air.

How about you? Are you ready for things to be different?

Alex and I talked about what we want to leave with you guys as we close out this year. The last two blogs have been so good but deep. We wanted to end this year with an anthem of hope. What could we tell you that would help you as you enter 2019?

Then two weeks ago as we were sitting in service the Lord spoke to us through our Pastor’s sermon. He was talking about how small things make a big difference. He talked about how your words are super important and that if you can change your words you can change your life. Alex and I both just looked at each other because we knew that was how we wanted to end 2018- the power of words.

Proverbs 18:20-21 says-

From the fruit of their mouth a person’s stomach is filled; with the harvest of their lips, they are satisfied. The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit

I don’t think any of us really understand the power we have with our words. We have the power to build up or tear down. With one word you can completely crush someone to the point that they never recover from it, or with one word you can encourage someone to go after their dream wholeheartedly.

Our words have so much power over other people but we need to understand that they have just as much power over us. We not only need to be careful what we say to someone else we need to also be careful about what we say about ourselves.

Proverbs makes it very clear. Our words can bring life and death. We need to choose life!

Think of a time that someone spoke life-giving, positive words over you?

Seriously- stopping reading for a moment and think about those words that were said to you.

I’ll wait!

-insert some form of classical waiting room music here-

So how did it make you feel? Did it encourage you? Did it spur you on? I’m sure at the very least at that moment you felt good about yourself. Maybe that validation was exactly what you needed to take your next step.

Now let’s take that feeling that we had and think about how that could affect your new year and your marriage.

What would your year and marriage look like if you poured life over it with your words? I sure that it would improve things all around!

So how do we do that?

How do we use our words to pour life into our year and our marriage?

  • Stop speaking negatively over yourself, your spouse, and your life
    • Let’s just start off with the hardest thing first shall we? You have to make a decision that you are going to change your words. Remove negative self-talk and negative talk to your spouse all together.
    • The first change may not be to start speaking good but to simply stop speaking bad. That may mean keeping your mouth shut and not saying anything for a while.
  • Communicate what your expectations are for your year and relationship.
    • It’s time to sit down with your spouse and dream about the new year.
      • What do you want to see change?
        • What steps need to be taken for the change to happen?
      • What do you want to see strengthened?
        • There may be things that you are doing right that you want to be consistent in doing in the new year.
    • Come up with a word or phrase that you want to speak over your year and relationship.
      • This is something that Alex and I have not done before but we are looking to do this year. One thing I definitely want to speak over our year is prosperity and health.
        • This is something that I would recommend talking to your spouse about, then both of you praying about it, then coming back to discuss what words the Lord put on your heart. Take your time and really choose these words prayerfully and purposefully.
      • After you have your word or phrase then line up your words/lifestyle to agree with it. For example, if I am believing for health, I do not need to go around telling people how bad I feel all the time or eat unhealthy foods and sit on the couch all day. Your words and your lifestyle have to line up for this to work.
  • Pray with your spouse
    • We should do this every day. Pray is so important and it is one of the most powerful weapons that we have against the enemy.
    • Don’t give up if the first time does not go well.
      • I remember the first time Alex and I prayed together out loud. It was downright awkward- for both of us. It was as if we suddenly forgot how to pray.  I think we were finished praying in about 30 seconds flat and that was including the “Dear Lord and Amen”. But we did not give up. We kept praying together and now we have no problem with it at all. In fact, we have made it a part of our daily routine.
  • Pray for your spouse
    • You know your spouse better than anyone else. You know them at their best and their worse. This is your opportunity to bring them before the Father and really pray specifically for them.
    • This sometimes can be hard to start as well so below I have written out a prayer that I got from the book, “Kingdom Marriage” by Tony Evans. I recently started praying this over Alex and it has really helped me be specific. I made a few changes to it so feel free to customizes it so it works best for you.

Thank you for giving me _____ as my husband/wife. I pray that Your will be clearly displayed in _____ life. Help _____ to grow spiritually, emotionally, and physically healthy every day. Surround _____ with godly relationships and clearly reveal Your purpose for him. Give _____ a desire to steward our family resources well and also to lead, learn, and love you. Help _____ to love you with all of their heart, soul, and mind. 

Do all the same for me, Lord. Help me to have a gentle spirit toward_____. Help us to follow Your leadership in our lives. Help us to be best friends, lovers, adventurers, prayer warriors, and devoted followers of You. Reveal to us anything that can be improved in our marriage and give us the desire and determination to improve it. Pour passion and spontaneity in our sex life. Help us to always turn to each other and not someone else.

Put a hedge of protection around our marriage and guard us against any attack from the enemy. Help us to seek You first and love each other well.     Amen

You may be thinking. This sure is a whole lot of praying. Yes, but can you think of a better use for your words and your time than to bring your spouse and your marriage before the Father?

  • Use your words to convince yourself and your spouse daily that you really do love each other.
    • You need to have an arsenal of life-giving words at your disposal. Somedays it is easy to love your spouse and speak life to them other days….well…. not so much. Alex and I have several one-liners that we say to each other pretty much every day. When one person says one, the other person has a response. Here are a few of them-
      • I love you/I need you
      • You are my heart/You are my home
      • I will love you for forever
      • You have a rockin hot body
      • You’re my boo thang/ You’re my thang boo
    • These are just things that we say to each other to constantly remind ourselves that we are loved by each other. These little one-liners bring life to our marriage.
    • These life-giving words do not have to be organic. Plan them out in advance. Alex called me one day and said that he wanted us to start saying “we need each other” because he had heard it on the radio on his way to work. From that day on, we said it to each other. The last one we got off of a television show that we both like. It’s funny but it speaks life and that’s what we want in our relationship.
    • Speaking life-giving one-liners over your year can also be helpful in making it the year you want it to become.

So our suggestion for your new year is very simple. Change your words. Change your life.

It genuinely is that simple. Now, will it be easy every day? No. But that is when the pre-work comes in handy. That is when that arsenal of life-giving words come in handy. If you have a good vocabulary built up it will be easier to use it.

It’s time to chose life. It’s time to build up. It’s time to feel good about what your relationship looks like.

Its time for a great 2019 and a great marriage.

So the only thing left to do it do it!

James 1:19-25 says this

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.  Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do. Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.

Be a doer of the Word. Change your words and be blessed in all you do!

You can do this one word at a time. We are praying for you!

Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!


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